Flash back to the past

I was doing my devotion this morning and I have this sudden urge to look at a little book that I kept notes of a while back.

In that book was notes for the leadership books I read, business ideas I had and also quotes that I wrote down.

It kinda brings me back down to my original self, and asking myself, 'this was where I was, have I reached those goals I've set?' Prob not, and I think I've went further away from those dreams and asperations than I ever could have.

Reading those quotes made me realise what I have become, and I'm not too sure I like what became of me since I last pen down those notes on that book.


Last night, before I slept, I was thinking 'If someone were to ask me 2 years back where will you be by the end of your degree?' I would have answered 'back in Sabah' in a heart beat (of cause with a clause that says i won't know what the future brings). Now I plan to stay here just a little longer to gain some experince before I head back, but is this the right choice? How long must I wait till my dreams come true? or even, will my dreams ever come true?

Only God knows, and I'll stick with what ever He got instored for me...

Admitting but not giving up

There comes a time when you got so much stuff in your hands that you have to admit that it is beyond what your hands can carry. It the point in time where you just can’t hold on; things are slipping out of control and you’re in ‘rescue’ mode all the time.

It is in these time that you draw upon strength from God above, strength and wisdom that surpasses anything you can imagine.

I am in these times, and I am holding on with every breath that I still can master. At times it’s still hard to hold on, but I’m still hanging...

**I need more strength to carry that bigger plate.

Responding e-mail to the response...

Dear Son,

From your very young age you are never a kid to me as you mature much faster than any kids in town. So I always tell people that I have told my son what I have now is mine and he have to get his own. That's my concept of life as I have seen too many kids and youngster in Semporna and Keningau whom are paralyzed in life by their inherited material wealth which lasted only for a short while.

Probably I have told you those story too and me and your mum have that same concept of allowing our children make their own choice... we as parent also human some time trying to mould or shape our children to what we want not knowing that's is not their choice of career in life. My classmate our Head Prefect in School a super consultant in Liver (Heapatologist) quit becoming a doctor now in forwarding in London !!! what a waste, it all come back to what their parent want.. not what they want...their parent have forgot one thing their children will eventually live their own life and not for their parent..!!!

I am not a perfect dad and at time not showing good example as a dad but one thing you must remember you always have a heavenly dad whom will never make any mistake.

Your Loving Dad.

A reply to an e-mail

Re: Yahoo! News Story - Warren Buffett's son preaches values as wealth - Yahoo! News

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100510/lf_nm_life/us_books_buffett

Hi Pa,

Not too sure if you remember this but you made a comment that is still dear to my heart. You said ' This is not yours, it's mine. You need to get your own'. You were making a comment about the passing on of the clinic and the other properties.

I think you made this comment when I was 14 or 15, which change my mind set that I cannot hope and wait for something to be given. I need to go out and get it.

I think that you did treat me as Warren Buffett did to his son. That you didn't give me everything and you've taught me that there are people that are more in need. I learn this especially through your work as a doctor and in the community (Church and Lions Club).

With that in mind, I actually took it a bit further. I took it upon myself that when I help you manage the farms, I would want to know how the workers actually feel and what they are doing. So I always helped out with loading and unloading fruits, and do what the workers did. I did learn a lot from that.

I’m also thankful that, even from a very young age that you’ve let me choose my own path. I still remember, when I was 12, deciding which secondary school to go to, you and mum ask me to make my own decision. I’ve talk to a lot of my friend and so far none that I’ve met ever have that decision to make when they were that young. I am really grateful that you treat me with such maturity even at such a young age.

Choosing the course of my life, with the degree that I wanted to take, again, thank you and mum for letting me pursue my dream. Thank mum as well, for pushing me out of my comfort zone and putting me 10 hours south of Sabah, which it turns out to be the best thing I could ever have to pursue my dreams. I know of a lot of my friends who are in university studying a degree which they took because of their parents. I case that I know of, she graduated with a Engineering degree and went back to study Art (major in Japanese) because that was where her original passion was.

Again Pa, I want to thank you and mum for teaching me and moulding me to the man I am today.

With Love,
Your Son.

Happy Mummy's day

Made this song for my mum. :) I was a bit annoyed at myself because it was a rushed job, should have taken more time and effort to craft the lyrics and tune. But o well, here it goes...

She’s the one
She’s the one who makes me happy
She’s the one who brings me through
She’s the one who put a smile to my face
Every time I think of her
Through every trials and every season
Her hands will always be there for me
She’s my, She’s my
One and only mum

You’re the one who makes me happy
You’re the one who brings me through
You’re the one who put a smile to my face
Every time I think of you
Through every trials and every season
Her hands will always be there for me
You’re my, You’re my
One and only mum


Though I my wonder far from you
Though I am far from your eyes
But you’re always on my mind
You’re always close to my heart


here is my mum's responds. I was quite touched by it. and somehow, that little annoyance of not being able to make the song better seems to go away...

Thanks son...it brings tears to my eyes..i'm so touch!!
I maybe ur only mum but who u r today, i only play a part, I thank God u know how to follow HIM.
Yes, though we may be physically apart but our heart and soul are always near, at heart!!
Sometimes, I do wonder as I see some mum n children relationship are very close where they share everything 'under the sky', I do wonder myself how do my children regard me???..Well, needs no answer!! Thank God for the three lovely children.
Seem like you have improve a lot on ur music skill over there!!
Well, you take care now!!
Love,
Mummy

Hello blog...

Hi blog, haven't blog on you for sometime now. I shall try my best to say more stuff to the world, rather than one blog every... (lost track of days/week/months that I haven't blog)

till the next time - When I have something to say.

New ambition ??

Wilson : 77 songs and I'll get a band
Self: Dream on bro...!!!
Wilson : Ain't we all?

For the past few days, I've been having a lot of inspiration. Especially during the time I'm stressed out or worrying about something. I've even written a poem half way studying finance because I was just not at peace.

Some how, I think I got back my poetic mood. I've rediscovered that writing out my feeling in poem helps me release my stress and makes good lyrics as well. I 1st discovered this back in 2005.

Right now there are a lot of words that are running around in my head and I need to capture it on paper. I've also got a sudden burst of musical inspiration; guitar riff and tunes that comes and goes. If I made 77 songs by end of this year (originally said July), I'll get a band. There must be something going on if I can make that many songs. Again, this is only a dream, a new ambition...

Finished with summer school

Ah, finally, summer school is over. The past 6 weeks was packed with... man I can't put words to it. Firstly, summer school was alright, not that big of a prob.

Right that said, Parachute..!! that was an awesome experience. 4 days of intense music ringing in your head, you bound to be inspired after that.

OCF impact group was fun as well, good time spent with God and friends. Keeps the summer school / holiday just that bit more interesting and a live.

Though I should be free now, I'm not. Still have a lot of stuff to do. OCF planning retreat tomorrow, O week coming up, Kel's birthday, new song for OCF camp, OCF camp meeting ... the list goes on... and 10 days to do all that.